Free Video Lessons for Descriptive Writing
How does Cambridge assess your descriptive writing?
Cambridge First Language English IGCSE will assess your work by considering two main areas:
- Content and structure: Do you paint a convincing picture in your description? Does your description have a range of images and details that are well developed? How original is your description and its use of imagery? Can you structure your work effectively?
- Style and accuracy: How accurate is your spelling, punctuation and grammar? Do you use sophisticated vocabulary precisely? Can you use varied punctuation and sentencing for effect?
Take a look at the model description for IGCSE First Language English below, and try to notice where this model response is meeting Cambridge’s expectations for a great description.
A* Model description for IGCSE First Language English
After the Bomb Dropped
Homes erupted to rubble; safety bled to chaos; embraces disintegrated to ash. Step by step, with trembling legs, I staggered through the ruins of the place that was my home. I ignored the streaks of blood dripping into my eyes, the tiny shards of metal lodged into my left forearm, and the wails around me. If you paid too much attention, you wouldn’t stop wailing either. The year was 1942 and in the village of Little Dewhurst lives had been torn apart by the shelling of bomb upon bomb.
Ice cold, ice cold, I could hardly feel my fingertips, despite the blistering heat of the bombs and the black tendrils of smoke snaking into the sky. The scene before me was utter destruction. I let my eyes become unfocused, seeing only hazy piles of rubble and bleary blood splatters, but I knew my family’s home was surely flattened. I (the lucky one, can you call me such a thing now?) had been travelling back to Little Dewhurst from a nearby village when the sirens began to howl. Now here I was, returned, with no-one to greet me but the wicked smoke.
Amid the destruction, there were reminders of the life we had once lived together. A child’s doll lay abandoned in the rubble, its once-cherished form now twisted and broken; the remains of a loaf of bread sat near the ruins of a bakery, a cruel reminder of the bustling business that had once sustained the town; and a lone flower, miraculously still alive, poked through the rubble defiantly, mutinously.
I looked to the sky as if I might see the man who flew that plane, pushed that release button, and destroyed it all. But he was long gone: in his place only of fury of smoke remained. The sky was a funeral today. Although it was noon, the heavens had donned their black mourners’ gowns and swaddled the sun in wreaths of black lace until no rays of light could protrude. Wisps of once-white clouds had joined the procession of mourners; they too wore garments of the deepest black to signal their condolences to the world below. And the wake, the village’s send-off, consisted of naught but ash as the sky wept goodbye tears of soot down onto Little Dewhurst. Ash drifted onto my tongue, ash tarnished my clothing, and ash sutured itself into my nightmares to come. My whole world – nothing but ash. The sky – nothing but the murkiest and most unforgiving blackness.
Forcing my eyes downwards, I saw with a sharp shock a little girl so bedecked in soot you might miss her for another pile of burning cinders (did I look like that too?). Smoke shrouded her tiny form, thin from years of strict rations. She was crouching on the floor, her leg snapped in an unnatural angle. She cradled a tabby cat in her trembling arms, its fur matted and dusty from the chaos. The girl’s tiny fingers clung to the cat’s fur as if it were the only thing that made sense to her. A hushed stillness enveloped them, broken only by the occasional sigh of crumbling debris.
And now I compelled myself to look where I have been refusing to let my eyes settle: my own home, two doors down from the obliterated bakery. Here, where the walls once embraced us with warmth and security, now stood a haunting remnant of the life we knew. Memories of sun-drenched days flooded my mind, pushing away the reality of what I saw before me: my home, my whole world, my family, levelled to the ground. No hope remained in the aftermath of this blitzkrieg. Atomised, razed, demolished: my home had been utterly and immeasurably destroyed. The shattered windows, once alive with morning light, now reflected only fragments of life lost. As I stood amidst the devastation, the echoes of my family’s laughter were replaced by a deafening silence, and I could not yet allow myself to picture their faces or whisper their names. It was too cruel, too impossible to admit that such innocents had been sacrificed for a war across our shores. The scars of war’s merciless hand traced jagged paths on the walls, etching the story of lives shattered.
This had once been a town of simple pleasures: a growing flower stretching towards the sun, a baker setting up shop for the day, a doll gifted to a child for their birthday. All had been obliterated as if to remind us foolish humans that our lives were fleeting and our happiness was not a god-given constant. Still, the girl clung to that tabby cat: the last vestige of a world now destroyed.
Unpicking the A* Model Description for IGCSE English
What makes this an A* model description for IGCSE English?
Opening lines
Re-read the opening line of the description and consider how this hooks the reader:
Homes erupted to rubble; safety bled into chaos; embraces disintegrated to ash.
This opening sentence uses parallelism, where the sentence structure is repeated. Notice that each of the three sections of the sentence fit this format: good became bad: homes to rubble; safety to chaos; embraces to ash.
The correct use of semicolons to create a dramatic tone of voice would also be appreciated by Cambridge.
Finally, the opening sentence retains a sense of mystery. The reader does not yet understand what has happened or precisely when or where this description has been set. It is only in the final sentence of the opening paragraph that the scene becomes clear: this is a description of a British town after being bombed in World War II.
Use of extended metaphor
An extended metaphor is when you develop a metaphor for more than one sentence. Extended metaphors are great for descriptive writing because it allows you to develop your imagery and pushes you to make more imaginative connections. Here’s an example in our model response:
The sky was a funeral today. Although it was noon, the heavens had donned their black mourners’ gowns and swaddled the sun in wreaths of black lace until no rays of light could protrude. Wisps of once-white clouds had joined the procession of mourners; they too wore garments of the deepest black to signal their condolences to the world below. And the wake, the village’s send-off, consisted of naught but ash as the sky wept goodbye tears of soot down onto Little Dewhurst.
In this example, the sky is compared to a funeral. It then makes connections between other things that are similar between the sky and funerals. For example:
- Sky filled with smoke = the heavens weaving black mourners’ gowns
- Wisps of clouds moving in the sky = a funeral procession
- Soot falling down from the sky = crying
Use of symbolism
Symbolism is the use of objects, characters, or elements in a text to represent deeper, often abstract, ideas. For example, a rose is often seen as a symbol of love. Here’s an example of symbolism in our model response:
A child’s doll lay abandoned in the rubble, its once-cherished form now twisted and broken; the remains of a loaf of bread sat near the ruins of a bakery, a cruel reminder of the bustling business that had once sustained the town; and a lone flower, miraculously still alive, poked through the rubble defiantly, mutinously.
What symbols can you see and what do you think their deeper meaning might be?
- The broken child’s doll symbolises the innocence lost during the fury of war.
- The loaf of bread represents the loss of nourishment, comfort, and everyday life.
- The lone flower acts as a hopeful symbol of resilience; life will persist despite such cruelty and destruction. However, it is interesting that the narrator also personifies this flower as being defiant and mutinous. This might mean that nature is angry at this loss of life, or perhaps the narrator is transferring her own anger outside herself, to this flower.
Use of a circular structure
A circular description is when the writer mentions an image at the start of their writing that they will later circle back to at the end of the text.
Consider this how the final paragraph of the description echoes images and ideas mentioned earlier in the text:
This had once been a town of simple pleasures: a growing flower stretching towards the sun, a baker setting up shop for the day, a doll gifted to a child for their birthday. All had been obliterated as if to remind us foolish humans that our lives were fleeting and our happiness was not a god-given constant. Still, the girl clung to that tabby cat: the last vestige of a world now destroyed.
The exemplar description circles back to the powerful images and symbols evoked earlier on in the text. By now, some of these images have taken on more significance, as the reader confirms that the narrator’s home (and likely entire family) has been destroyed in the bombing. These symbols now become all the more poignant, as we realise both what she has lost and that life will continue regardless – represented by this final image of the little girl with the cat.
More model descriptions for First Language English IGCSE
- Cinematic structure – a description of New York City
- Five-paragraph structure – a description of cherry blossom season in Japan
Watch my free description video lesson, download the resources and take the quiz
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- 50 minute video lesson with subtitles
- A* exemplar for descriptive writing, looking at cherry blossom season in Japan
- Inspiration videos and pictures for your own writing
- Worksheet with a planning sheet
- PowerPoint
- Revision quizzes for descriptions and vocabulary
